Ivan’s Tools
My father Ivan was a master craftsman and difficult role model, now long retired. On a recent visit home with my parents, his insistence on giving some of his tools to me left me reluctant. I realized my discomfort was with his mortality, and mine, but honoring and carrying forward his legacy mattered much more.
Two Conversations that Changed My Life
My youngest daughter was caught by her school stealing my cigarettes and smoking. When I berated her, she reminded me that I smoked also. If I wanted her not to smoke, I had to stop smoking myself, as much as I hated to.
Life Lessons I Learned from My Fathers
I was abandoned by my biological father, and rescued by my adopted father. I learned vital life lessons from both of them.
My Father’s Death Ended a Family Legacy of Brutality and Misogyny
At my father’s death, I reflect on his life and our complicated relationship, marked by our familial legacy of violence, narcissism and misogyny that wounded me deeply. This inspired my quest for my own healing and that of others, to forgive my father, and to end that violent family history.
To Become a Father, I Learned to Let Go and Trust
All my life, I used clear intent and diligent planning to achieve my goals. They were not working in my struggle to become a father. I learned the power of trust—of faith and surrender.