Languages of Love

Languages of Love

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE? Several team meetings

WHY DO THIS? Pursuit of understanding and intimacy


WHO CAN HELP? A man who has worked through the 5 Languages of Love

WHAT IS THE TEAM’S ROLE? Desire to be effective in how they show up in a loving relationship


This material was first introduced by a women’s support group who had used it and found it very helpful. It may not be absolutely empirically proven, but the concepts are helpful and highly predictive. The book, 5 Languages of Love, there is certainly enough meat in there for a segment in 5 or more team meetings where an hour or so at each team meeting is devoted to this process.

The team can work with the basic concept in several ways, so team leader might want to organize a series of team meetings around the following themes:

  1. Getting familiar with the 5 different languages of loves and being readily familiar with practical examples of each language— this can take several weeks depending on how deep the team wants to go. The languages of love are:
    1. Physical touch including non sexual touch as well as sexual touch
    2. Quality Time physical presence including companionship, listening, romantic quality time
    3. Gift Giving including monetary support
    4. Words of affirmation and appreciation including saying “I love you” verbally, with all its variations
    5. Acts of service and acts of loving support
  2. Helping men identify and rank their own natural preferences around communicating love to others, esp. their partner and children.
  3. Helping the men recognize their own needs for receiving demonstrations of love from others (and distinguishing how to do so within different relationships: partner, children and co-workers).
  4. Helping men identify and rank their primary partner’s natural preferences around receiving communications of love from them.
  5. Helping men develop strategies to shift their behavior to align their loving demonstrations with their beloved’s desires/preferences.
  6. Helping men develop support to be successful in learning to read and interpret their partner’s loving expression of love towards them.

Detailed Activities

  • Discuss each language of love and the nuances of expressing them as well as the nuance of receiving them.

  • Have each man rank his own impression of his own natural receptivity to each language of love ( or take the quiz in the book).

  • Have each man rank his own impression of his skill at using each of the 5 languages of love in expressing his love to his partner.

  • Have each man rank his interpretation of his partner’s natural language of expressing her love.

  • Have each man rank his own ability to effectively receive loving demonstrations from their partner.

  • Discuss the disconnects in each man’s life between his skill vs his partners needs and so forth and talk about how to repair them.

  • Have each man look at his other relationships and the language of love most suited for those relationships.

  • Have each man rank each man on the teams skill at expressing each language of love based on their knowing of him on the team.

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John Butler

Momentum is a local, not-for-profit men’s community.

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