Get to Know the Man

Get to Know the Man

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE? Can be used for as little as several minutes or an entire team meeting

WHY DO THIS? Introduce a new man to a team, introduce all men on a new team to each other

WHAT SUPPORT IS NEEDED? Designate a team leader

SUGGESTED FACILITATORS: NA – team function

WHAT IS THE TEAM’S ROLE? Engaging the man by asking questions and listening attentively. The goal is intimacy/connection not problem solving. Do not give advice and avoid asking questions leading to problem solving.

WHAT DO I NEED TO KNOW?

General:

  1. Where were you born?
  2. Are you in a significant relationship?
  3. Do you have any children?
  4. Do you have any siblings? (get info if yes)
  5. Are your parents still living? What is or was the nature of your relationship with them?
  6. What brought you to the Bay Area?
  7. Education? Where? How long? Degree?
  8. What is your experience with Men’s work?
  9. How did you find NoM?

Passion:

  1. What are you most proud of in your life?
  2. What do you enjoy doing in your free time?
  3. If money/time was not an obstacle, what would you like to do or where would you like to go?
  4. What were some of your memorable accomplishments?

Work:

  1. What is your specialty (most recent job)
  2. Are you currently employed?
    1. If yes, how long have you have you worked there?
    2. If no, how long out of work?
  3. Do or did you enjoy your job? Why or why not?
  4. What was your relationship with boss? Your peers?

Friends:

  1. Tell me about your best friend(s)? How long have you known them?
  2. Who do you admire? What makes qualities do admire in this person?

Barriers:

  1. What are you afraid of? Tell me about a time that this fear stopped you.
  2. What are you ashamed of? Have you told this to anyone before?
  3. Do you have issues in your life that may get in the way of trusting the men on the team?

Supportability:

It is essential to be supportable when you are a member of men’s team. Every man can say that he is supportable, but we all have our limits or times when we might “hide” out. Look at some of the suggestions below and see if any of these describe you.

  1. Making excuses when a commitment is missed.
  2. Not acknowledging a missed commitment.
  3. Showing up late for meetings.
  4. Not returning phone calls/emails.
  5. Not participating in the meeting.
  6. How will let the team know that you “Got it” when they have given support.
  7. How will you tell the team that you are not open to further support at this time?

It is ok to tell the team that you are not ready to address an issue at this time.

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John Butler

Momentum is a local, not-for-profit men’s community.

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